Memories Never Fade; a MS story of Love, a Granddaughter and her Grandfather

I try mostly to put up information dealing with medical aspects of MS, but as of late I went out on my face book wall and asked my friends if they had any stories dealing with MS that they would be willing to share. One of my friends stepped up to the plate and hit a home run. Her story of she and her grandfather nearly brought this tough old guy to tears.. It is a honor to publish this and I so thank you for sharing, Jen...

According to http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/multiple-sclerosis/DS00188,

“Multiple sclerosis (MS) is a potentially debilitating disease in which your body's immune system eats away at the protective sheath that covers your nerves. This interferes with the communication between your brain and the rest of your body. Ultimately, this may result in deterioration of the nerves themselves, a process that's not reversible.

Symptoms vary widely, depending on the amount of damage and which nerves are affected. People with severe cases of multiple sclerosis may lose the ability to walk or speak. Multiple sclerosis can be difficult to diagnose early in the course of the disease because symptoms often come and go — sometimes disappearing for months.

There's no cure for multiple sclerosis. However treatments can help treat attacks, modify the course of the disease and treat symptoms.”

According to me, Multiple sclerosis (MS) is the disease that stole my grandfather’s identity.

I was the youngest and only girl out of a family of four. My three older brothers were my whole world, my own personal bodyguards, and turned out to be amazing men. Yet, they had something I never had and whereas I was jealous of this growing up, I now realize that at least someone got to experience the good side of grandpa.

I, however, do not ever remember the grandpa who took them for rides in the car, went fishing with them, etc. I remember the grandpa who slowly, but surely disappeared before my eyes because of MS. I spent so many weekends, long breaks from school, and weeks on end in the summer at my grandparent’s house. My mom’s parents weren’t just grandparents’ to be, but a second set of parents, the fun parents so to speak. However, like I said I watched my grandpa fade before my eyes.

When I was really little, it was him grabbing my feet and tickling them until I was screaming with laughter and going for walks on the country roads. Then as I got a little older it was all about swinging on the front porch while he did his word searches and I wrote in my journal or read the latest Ann Martin, Beverly Cleary, or Judy Blume book.

However, there were always signs of the MS … him eating like a child at the dinner table, difficulty remembering things, lack of concentration, and his rage because it took everything he had to convey his emotions. Things that were once so easy for him became difficult tasks and it just got worse and worse.

He began walking in the middle of the road with his walker because he was confused, he would go to the bathroom in the front yard, and he just withered away. I lived with my grandparents when I was a teenager and witnessed him forgetting conversations we had the day before, my name, and just struggle with everyday activities of daily living.

He was in and out of the VA hospital for a few years and finally ended up in the VA hospital for good right around the time I was 21 and by the time I was 22, we lost him for good. I’ll never forget the day we lost him …

Its 20 degrees out, a cold December day, and I’m running barefoot down my street to get the few blocks over to my mom who was babysitting my niece and nephew. I collapsed in tears in the middle of the street and luckily, my ex-husband showed up, lifted me into the car, and took me to my mom. It broke my heart to know that this disease had taken away a man who had a Purple Heart from the Korean War, who loved fishing, and who was just amazing. It robbed him of himself, but to be honest I appreciate the memories I do have of my grandpa even with the MS.

It taught me to be compassionate, to treat others with respect, and gave me a special relationship with him that nobody else had. I still tear up thinking about the last time I saw him and how he couldn’t remember my name, but sure enough, he knew I was “His girl.”

So, here’s my advice to anyone who has someone in their life that has MS or is diagnosed with MS. Don’t stop living, don’t stop loving, and don’t stop believing. Make memories that last a lifetime and appreciate what you have while you have it.

Jen H.